i feel like such an asshole/fool/retard...where did all my cojones go?! UGH SMHHHH im so mad at myself!..i never felt so scarred about openin up to someone the way i do with him..i like him alot and thats what makes it scary for me...ive been hurt so many times before but i know i can't blame him but i am succeeding at messing this whole thing up with us..i don't want him to turn his back on me :/...and i don't want to move things slower i don't even know why when he asked me that i said yes! if anything i liked the pace we were going i just wish we could try seeing each other more maybe that would help but slowing it down for what! likeeee jesh ive been getting cool with him for like 8 months now...FML if theres anything i really want deep down inside its to get closer with him i want to free myself of the cage ive built for my heart and i know hes worthy of it...im just so damn stubborn......................
im goin to sleep now,
im gonna go crawl into my turtle shell =(
GOD please help me, he has no idea<3
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