he never knew...

so i went from bein on skype to wonderin about him and reflectin back to all the conversations we use to have there which then ALL lead me to this funny lil button which read from the beginning i clicked it and out popped up all the chat conversations we ever had a skype all the way from the beginning. I could have closed it and not read it but i was curious. Oh the things curiosity will do to a person smh. As i sat there and read everything through i laughed at all the funny things we would talk about and smiled at the things he would say to let me know everything was ok or to make me feel better. I wore the same smile I had when I was falling for him. That smile was the start of everything. I kept reading on and on. We would talk about everything..school, money, our futures, our families, work, religion, and politics. how much american culure sucks! After reading all of it, I just don't get it. I try to make sense out of it but I just don't understand. I don't get how we could of had such a strong connection and then he can just go and be with someone else. How does he even commit to somebody else like that? I hope he truly is happy. I really am sorry for having dealt with everything in such an immature manner when things were starting to get serious. I shouldn't have held back I should of been straight up with him but i was never fake. I never played any games with him and I was truly sincere. I opened up myself to him but I was afraid of that feeling I would get whenever I was around him. I would run from it inside. I should of just faced it and took the chance. Now its all done and over with. All that just gone to waste and he will never know that I was so close to thinking he was the ONE for me. He told me he wanted to be my king and he never found out that I actually wanted to be his Queen. All i have left now are the memories and i will never forget him.