reading my book

THIS IS ME: "a very compassionate person who trys to front like shes big and bad.. deep down you love attention but u dont like it from just anyone.. so u dont really accept it when people give it to u.... ur funny and u like someone else who can be that while just being themself.. u love a man thats ambitious bc u have your own goals in life and u need someone to go stride for stride with u... your very competitive but u love a man who can be just as if not more competitive than you because thats an overbearing trait for passive men.... i know this isnt about me but i think u would love for me to be closer because i am what u like in a man.. its just the distance makes it difficult... u love being spontaneous but you are very very selective with when and how u go about that fun..u wish u could find someone similar to you"

i had to copy and paste this onto my blog! hes dope for this one.got a hand clap and everything live on skype lol..i couldn't believe how he completely read me right on through im so grateful to have met him on spring break in florida. guys im only looking at him as a friend relax! lol..but he is funny i peeped the way he tried to be slick and sneak that lil line in there. We are very honest with each other though and he knows the deal and were both realistic>>we are states apart from each other so that could never work out.

the classsics

TRUTH

i accepted it.
his name was being written on my heart...i found the answer hidden underneath the layers of pride which i bear.

You told me you still felt for me but how is that possible when you can go and be with someone else. You tell me you don't want to lose me. However, if you also truly meant it when you said that we should keep moving on with our lives and see where time takes us than how do you expect for me to stay. I can only keep moving if I let you go. I'm so sorry that you may not realize how much it hurts to do this but I have to say bye to us. I wished that you could have noticed all that I had for you. It was right in front of you but I just can't wait for you. I know you told me your parents story of how people break apart but the feelings always stay the same. I know you wanted a real love like that. For me, I found it with you. I didn't expect for it to happen either or for it to be so soon in my life. I just don't think that all real loves need to pass a test of time in order to be true. Some just happen that way right from the beginning and its better to let it fluorish. Then, to just see it all go to waste. I can only hope the best for you and that you will find exactly what you are looking for.
Goodbye Rodrigo<3

Art C.P.R.

Scorpio Essence
"I have the emotional capacity of a murderer and a dreamer. My anger is unyielding in any force field I choose. My pain makes my lungs shrivel up and unleashes vigorous forces of gravity on the muscles that lift the corner of my lips. I promise you that you wont ever find another lover like me where passion is the only consistency flowing throughout my veins and apathy is the only adjective lacking in my brain and sometimes I wish everyone felt this way"

Excerpt-I Call Him My Dying King:
"I fill mounds of scrap paper and files of this over-sentimental bullshit that parades through me. My eyes are dry from reading excerpts upon excerpts of my own words repeated with synonyms. I have an incapability to not repeat the past and I have no idea how to change my footing..."

The Perfect Words

"In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong, I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t ever want to lose that."

- The Notebook.

its not that im afraid, its that sometimes you have to know when its time to give up

I forgot to write that it turns out he didn't stand me up. There was a valid reason. Hes an interesting person. We been gettin together with our friends and chillin alot these past few days. Im really just coolin though and just having fun. As of now though everything I said about guys in my last post is still the same. I've decided to honestly stop hoping for anything anymore. They fail all too frequently and im sick of trying. All im looking for is a friendship with this guy nothing more.

EMPTY BOTTLE OF HOPE

i definitely just got stood up for the first time. i was supposed to hang out with this guy hes cool and were always running into each other. well, he hit me up and we were txtin and made plans to chill. the last thing he asked was how to get to my house and i gave him the directions. After that, i told him to let me know when hes on his way. He never responded and i sent him another message like im bettin ur ass went home to change cause he was at work when we were txtin. Yeaup its been 2 hours, he didn't hit me back up to say anything and he didn't show up. Thats nice. I really just never thought guys would go as far as to do something like that. Like damn, at least say no you can't chill or something. It just surprises me after all the shit i've been through. Guys never fail to disappoint. I think i dont even care anymore love is bullshit. Im going back to sticking to my original plan. I'm just gonna get my career set have my own beautiful condo with a nice view. A rocking chair, a dog, a big kitchen, wine, and some good books. I'm not getting married. I don't want that crap anymore. I will not speak to guys on a level other than friendship and I am pushing away anyone who tries to get close. Sorry but i don't want that anymore. FUK A KING. THIS IS SUPER QUEEN!